This is the man I love. I went through two abusive marriages before I finally found the right guy. I want babies with him. I want clones of this man.

My first marriage was an arranged marriage when I was seventeen. Mikvah was something that I accepted in the same way we accepted other rules, even though I may not have liked them or understood why. When I married the second time, mikvah still meant nothing to me. Zero.

When I was standing in the mikvah on the night before my third wedding, I started crying. Each time I went down I felt more engulfed by the water, more purified by the water. The immersion that was supposed to be a preparation for getting married became an act of being born. In that short time I made a commitment that this is something I'm going to observe for me. No one is making me do it.